You Look the Same!

Today I ran into a man I worked with when I was only thirty years old.  At the time we worked together he was twenty six and I thought I was old.  The interesting thing about running into this old friend, is that we instantly recognized each other.  Usually after 25 years have passed it might be difficult to recognize someone so immediately.  I was getting out of my van going into a coffee house and he asked me if I was who he thought I was.  When he said his name, I remembered exactly who he was.  We made small talk for just a few moments and he said “you look the same.”  I genuinely had to say “so do you.”  I meant it.  He had also taken very good care of himself over the years and had not appeared to have been a victim of wrong living.  It felt good to have been so immediately recognized by someone I had just worked with for a couple years.

He had to run off to his daughters birthday party so we didn’t talk long.  I imagined he would be about fifty years old, but he was fit.  I imagined he married later in life, once he got established financially, which he was well on his way to doing at the age of 26.

Running into an old friend made me take a walk down memory lane and a part of me envied this man’s obvious stability and what I imagined to be a happy family life.  I had already divorced when I went to work with him and was a young, single Mother.  I was filled with hope and the promise that one day everything would fall into place.  I would meet the right guy and build a stable life for myself.  I never did meet the right guy, and I’ve lived more a life of a Gypsy than one where I stayed in the same place for decades at a time.  And now, here I am, traveling months at a time in a mini-van, flying solo.

Ernest Holmes, the founder of “Religious Science,” not to be mistaken for Scientology, says that comparison is the cause of all unhappiness.  We each have our path to walk and when we find ourselves comparing our path to someone else’s path we only cause ourselves pain.  There are so many people who tell me they would love nothing more then to do what I am doing, to be so free, to work from anywhere.  I am truly blessed this way.  Even if sometimes, I feel it would be really nice to have someone to share the journey with.

I suppose I can’t expect that the dark side of “flying solo” won’t emerge from time to time.  It gives me the opportunity to go deeper into the feelings that would somehow hold me back from truly embracing my freedom in a way I never have.

Sometimes stability is a trap.  People find themselves in a good, stable, well paying job, a great house, a great mortgage to go along with it, an unsatisfying relationship and a feeling of being trapped in the life they have created.  Some people are afraid to walk away from their comfortable, stable lives and embrace the call of their spirit.  They fear life won’t support them.  They fear losing their comfort and stability.  They fear losing the prestige and ego trappings that make them feel accomplished and successful.

What I have learned is that true success is feeling I am free to live my life, true to myself, following the call of spirit, following my bliss and knowing that I would never settle for a life that didn’t suit me.  Now I can say, that I am following my bliss and I am learning to really trust that my path will lead me to the greatest happiness I have ever experienced.  Yes, perhaps I am a late bloomer, in some ways.  But it is better to bloom late and live true to ones self, then to bloom early and lose your petals early.