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Everything Changes So Quickly
Just a few days ago I was facing houselessness. I was considering moving into my truck camper full-time, and then I woke up one bright sunny morning and everything had changed.
I had grown used to the feeling of dread I had waking up every morning and knowing I was at the end of my ten year journey with my house. I was grieving and letting go. I feared never having a home again; being a vagabond for the rest of my life. Although in part, it appealed to me to be so footloose and fancy free, the Taurus in me was really rebelling. There was a fight between the part of me that wanted to roam, and the part of me that needed roots. And it was that one bright, sunny morning in my home in Arizona that the two parts of me came to a compromise.
My truck camper had served me well for three years. I loved it! It had been my home, away from home. But it was time to let it go. Instead of letting my house go, I would let my house on wheels go and I would go back to Red Raven, my mini van, for my adventures, at least for now. I would have both roots and wings.There was an excitement about rebuilding Red Raven as my camper. She was so much sleeker, lighter and so much better on gas. She wasn’t the tiny home that my camper was. She didn’t have a kitchen and a bathroom, a queen bed, and a dinette. But she would have a bed and a makeshift kitchen.
Rather than driving off into the abyss, not knowing where I was going or where I would end up, which I have to admit, is a bit exciting, I would be renting out the upstairs of my home and moving into my downstairs space. This would allow me to still have a home base and be able to journey in the van.My Eat, Pray, Roam journey would continue as I capture the journey of eating a plant based diet, being on a spiritual path, and roaming to interesting places.
Having roots and wings really appeals to me. This is the best of both worlds I have the stability of my home and the freedom of roaming in Red Raven.
Let the journey begin!
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Today it Became Real
As my world was crumbling down around me and I knew I had to make a change, I began to grieve the losses. I couldn’t hold on any longer to what was falling apart. I had to face the reality unfolding in front of me and let go of trying to breathe life into something that was dying.
The old life was beginning to fall away and I had to let it go. I had to begin putting my eyes on the future possibilities; what wanted to come into being.
You see, I believe life has a plan for us, but we don’t always know the plan. We fear letting go of the old because it is what was safe and familiar. We built our comfort zone around the old. Letting go of “what was” means stepping out into the abyss, not knowing what is next. Although I was beginning to see a rough outline, I still didn’t know how it was all going to unfold.
Today, was the day it became real that I was going to be leaving my home of ten years. I called the key people involved in the sale of the house, and talked to the two women who made me caretaker of the Grandmother drum sitting in my music studio. We would be having our last drum circle on the Spring Equinox. What a way to say goodbye!
The spring is always a powerful energy for me. There is a lot of momentum. Ideas and inspiration begin to sprout forth and what no longer serves, the me that is moving forward, is left behind. It is bittersweet.
Co-mingling with the excitement of the journey ahead, there was a fear that I would never be able to afford a home again, because prices were rising so fast, beyond so many people’s control. So many people are choosing van life, or RV life because they don’t want to pay the money required to live in a home. There is a new culture of houseless people. We invest in wheel estate. We live tiny. Minimalistic. It is a life some people say they would never trade for a sticks and bricks house again.
I look at my beloved cat Nala curled up napping on my bed and a great sadness comes over me. She is really my neighbors cat, but he leaves for work during the week and doesn’t come home until the weekends. He asked me to look after her and I did gladly. She adopted me and hardly ever went to my neighbors home when he was there anymore. I didn’t know what would become of her. I couldn’t take her with me. She would be miserable. Here, she had two homes that were her domain and she loves being outdoors. I texted my neighbor today as well, and told him the news. My heart aches for Nala.
There is a lot to grieve. And so I imagine, like times before, the grief would dance in the same place as the joy and excitement of a new adventure. Sometimes I would relish in the passion of a new creation and other times I would cry deep, soulful, tears for what I was leaving behind.
I have crossed the threshold, the point of no return. The choice has been made and spoken aloud. My world will never be the same.
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Nomadic Life is Calling
In the past I have had many different adventures. I was flying solo in my Red Mini Van, and traded the van in for a truck and camper where I had three more summers flying solo.It was amazing to have both roots and wings. I had my home in Arizona which gave me roots, and anchor to keep me from flying too fast or too far. I always had some place to come back home to. But then there was a change in circumstances. The business that had supported me for twenty years dried up. I was being kicked out of the life I had created.
Although it initially felt the Universe was no longer supporting me and God had betrayed me, I needed to go deeper and see this sudden shift in energy as a redirection. It was time for me to let go of my home, my roots, my anchor. It was time for me to embrace nomadic living full-time. To fully immerse myself in this lifestyle and share it with others. Perhaps I could be a source of inspiration for those who choose not to live the ordinary life in the ordinary way.
To mark this new journey, I have decided to change the name of my Website to the same name as my new Youtube Channel; Eat, Pray, Roam. I have chosen this name because so many people can relate to a woman’s quest to find herself, out there, in the world; to nuture herself through good food and embrace the spiritual path via nomadic living.
My new venture will feature not only nomadic life, but my plant based diet, health, wellness and spirituality. We will eat, we will pray, and we will roam together.
We will also delve into the current, chaotic state of the world and the rising cost of living, looking at alternative ways of being in the world. We have seen such an influx of van lifers, rv’ers and people living in tiny homes, homesteading, and stepping away from traditional living.
Perhaps it is a sign of the times. So many people are realizing that life is not about working for someone who sucks every ounce of life from their soul. Life is to be lived. It is our birthright. And if we are to be authentic and follow our inner guidance, we can’t put ourselves into situations that don’t support who we are becoming. We need to make choices that feed our soul.
And this is why I am making the choice to leave the life and the home I have loved. I can no longer support this life. It no longer supports me. It has served me well. I am grateful! And now I must follow inspiration to the next phase of my journey through life.
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Family and Aliens
Columbia River at the Gorge near Hood River, Oregon Okay so family and aliens don’t really go together. Except that my family probably think I am an alien. This journey has been more about family connections then anything else. I had my time between events and visits to put my feet in the sand and listen to the ocean waves. Then headed to visit my parents for a few days. It was a nice visit. I enjoyed my time there in the Portland area.
I left on a Thursday morning and headed to the ECETI Ranch at the foot of Mt. Adams in Washington State. It is a beautiful ranch where I had the opportunity to camp, connect with others, visit the labyrinth and the medicine wheel and sky gaze in the evening.
Although we were at the tail end of a meteor shower and saw a few meteors, we were actually looking for UFO activity. James Gilliland, who owns the ranch, has had many sightings at the ranch and has some stories to tell. Curious seekers come to see if they are lucky enough to get a glimpse of something “out of this world.”
Mt. Adams in Washington State We are never disappointed as there is always something interesting going on. I visited ten years ago and learned about what to look for in the sky. I’ve been seeing unusual activity ever since. What was really mind blowing was to see the orbs in real time, through infra red goggles. Orbs are these round bubble like energies that are thought by many to be “beings.” They often show up in photographs and tend to show up more when there is music, or some kind of spiritual ceremony. You can’t see them with the naked eye, but can see them in the photographs and sometimes in videos.
I was writing a new song a couple years ago and wanted to record it so I could remember it. I set up my video camera on my phone, because the sound was best this way. I had the camera pointing out into the room and when I played it back, there were several colored orbs dancing around the room. they always make me laugh. They are such a playful, beautiful energy.
I believe our Universe is way to big to think we are the only one’s here. And we can’t begin to understand the world that is beyond our comprehension. We learn to see things a certain way, and we can be very attached to our beliefs. I’ve seen so much in my life, I am open minded. Anything is possible.One thing we saw the first evening I was at the ranch was a flash of colored light in front of the mountain. It was almost electrical, but not any kind of storm. It was a clear night and there was just a big flash of light in the sky, that had blue, green and pink hues. We all gasped when we saw it and found it quite exciting. We saw some flashes in the sky as well. Very high up, above where a plane would fly. We also would see something flying along and then flash very bright and sometimes disappear altogether.
River near ECETI Ranch There were flashes of light on the side of Mt. Adams that were going on both nights I was there. James explained that there is no trail on this side of the mountain. It is a solid rock wall that could not be climbed or hiked. People hike up one side of the Mountain but James also explained that the likely hood of seeing someone’s head-lamp from 14 miles away at the brightness we were seeing was slim to none. He had tested it with friends.
James had his explanation for what we were seeing and he believed it was ship activity. Many people who were watching wanted a more “human” explanation. James knew where the satellites and space stations were and when they tended to come by. He even pointed them out. “That’s a satellite,” he would say, or “that’s the space station.” Then he would point his laser at the sky and say “this is a ship.” We all looked up and watched the unusual activity in the sky as if we were star gazing. It was fun and interesting, but nothing landed in the field and nothing came to take me away.
Old Bridge near ECETI Ranch After two days at the ranch I headed out and checked in with myself to see where I was going next. I felt it was time to go home. The tenant renting my house and taking care of it while I was gone, moved out because she was having some issues, so my house was left empty and the yard unattended to. I decided it was time to make the long journey back to Arizona.
The next two days were wheels rolling on hot pavement, music blaring on my speakers and mind zoning out. Everywhere I went was hot. Driving through Idaho the temperatures were nearing 100 degrees and it remained pretty hot all the way home. Normally the trek from the Southwest to the Northwest is two and a half days. This time I did the journey in two days. It was too hot to stop anywhere. I slept a bit at a rest stop and a bit parked at a city park in Nephi, Utah. The temperatures dropped into the seventies in the evening and rapidly climbed back up in the morning.
Lake Powell in Arizona I pulled into my driveway early Sunday evening and even though it was 99 degrees when I arrived home, I was happy to be there. I pulled all my necessities out of the van and settle into my place. It felt good to stretch out, giving the mini-van a break. As much as I love the van, I’m thinking eventually I will get something I can stand up in.
Towards the end of the month, I may take another journey to Colorado. But for now I am settling in and getting some work done.
Sightings at ECETI Ranch
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Driving on the Beach, Long Beach, Astoria and Fort Stevens State Park
It always feels good to pack up the van and pull out to the next destination. Especially when I have no idea where that is. There is something magical about just letting myself be guided; going where the wind blows me, so to speak.I didn’t need to go far before I found myself at my next destination, Long Beach, Washington. Long Beach boasts itself as being the Worlds Longest Beach, however it is really a 28 mile long Peninsula. Yes, I drove the length of it.
What I really liked about Long Beach, was, like Westport, it just wasn’t that crowded. Not like the Oregon Coastal towns. Driving onto the beach was legal and so I took my Van right onto the beach with the back facing the ocean. When the winds got heavy, it was cold or the sun intense, I could seek shelter in the van. One couldn’t ask for a better view.
In Long Beach, I spent the majority of my time, not at the beach, but on the beach. We couldn’t camp overnight there, so I found a vacant City Lot where Van Lifers were parked for the night. Other than having a horrible nightmare that my Van was being broken into and I was being violently attacked, the night went well.In telling a friend about the nightmare, she suggested it might be more symbolic about someone in my life who really wants to hurt me and cause me pain. My friend felt my Van represented my home, or personal space and the attacker a significant person in my life who would probably love it if I was no longer on the planet. Yes, this is a real person.
I’ve learned that although some people may not like me and want me to suffer, I would give no energy to the attacks. I recognized that it is never about me, but rather about the person who is projecting their own inner demons upon me. Not my demons! You leave someone like this alone with their demons long enough, their own demons will turn against them in time. Meanwhile I get on with my life and leave them in my rear view mirror.
After my night in Long Beach, I drove on down the road to find a place where I could make my tea, kick back and write in my journal. I found a sweet little County Park on the Columbia River. The Columbia River comes down from Canada, through Washington, the Washington Gorge, Portland, Oregon and joining the Pacific Ocean at Astoria, Oregon. It is a very large river.In past trips, I noticed I was often destination oriented and didn’t take the time to stop and smell the roses, or drink the coffee. This time was different. I really wanted to take my time and really explore what the places I visited had to offer.
On my way to Long Beach I found this really cool coffee house on the River in South Bend, Washington. I hung out there, charged my electronics, and wrote a blog post. I tried their curry lentil soup which was Vegan, and they had a vegan treat to go with my decaf Americano. It is not so often I find places where I can order something that fits my diet. It is a rare find, and a great treat to find such a place.
Althou
gh I have crossed the long bridge to Astoria many times, I actually never turned left to go into the City of Astoria and check out it’s historic Downtown. This time I made the left. I’m glad I did. I browsed through a couple shops, talked to few people and enjoyed the quaint old town.The bridge from Washington to Astoria, Oregon is 4.1 miles long. It crosses the Columbia River and goes up very high so the ships going out to Sea can sail under the bridge. The Columbia River separates Washington from Oregon in many places.
My next stop was across another big draw bridge from Astoria to Warrington. Warrington had a Natural Grocers and a Starbucks in one parking lot….SCORE!Warrington is also home to Fort Stevens State Park where I spent a part of my day. At the point, at Fort Stevens, the Columbia river is on one side and the Pacific Ocean on the other. There is a jetty separating the two and you can walk out quite a ways on the jetty if you want to.
